{Be Devoted} Preparing Your Heart for Marriage

As girls, our wedding day is one of the most thought about, anticipated days of our life. I’d venture to say almost every woman out there has spent significant amounts of time preparing, even if only in her head, for that long awaited day. A few days ago, I was honestly convicted by these thoughts that the Lord laid on my heart. How am I preparing my heart for my wedding day? Do I spend more time thinking about perfection – in a guy, a dress, a photographer – than my own character as a young woman? In fewer words, am I marriage material by God’s standards?

This thought has caused me to pause and reevaluate my heart and actions. Though I don’t spend hours on Pinterest creating my idealistic, dream wedding, I have to admit that I don’t know the last time I concentrated on preparing my own heart for that wonderful day. Which leads me to this question for all of us: How should we be preparing ourselves for our wedding days? What does it look like to reflect in image of Christ in a dating and marriage relationship? And how should I be growing and intentionally living right now in preparation for my future?

We have lists and standards for guys and potential dating material to meet, but I just wonder if as young ladies, we are living up to and fulfilling our Biblical roles as well. So, let’s break it down! What does God word says we are supposed to do to prepare ourselves to be godly girlfriends and godly wives?

1) Be concerned about the things of the Lord.

1 Corinthians 7:34 says, “And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the thinks of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit.” The word anxious in that context means to be concerned about and care for the things of the Lord. Our young adult years are a God given time for us to pursue Christ and dig deep into His word. Before we have to think about pleasing our husbands, the stress of a mortgage, or taking care of kiddos, God gives us this time to develop a close, intimate relationship with Him. How beautiful is it that He provides in every unique season of life? Take advantage of this! Pursue Christ with all your heart, develop a love for His word, and be concerned about His work.

2) Give grace with your words, be submissive, and give respect to the men in your life.

Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up… that it may give grace to those who hear.”

In Ephesians 5:22, Paul writes and says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.”

And Ephesians 5:33 says “let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

These are such good ones to jump into!  Many of us are not married, so we may think these verses don’t apply to us, but I would beg to differ. ;) God tells us in His word what it looks like to be a godly wife, and I would venture to say that the day you get married, not all these magical switches turn on so that you are suddenly submissive and respectful. This is something you must practice even before marriage, and the best opportunity for this to take place is with your Dad. If you can’t respect and act in submissiveness to your father, it’s unlikely you will with your husband either. And while not every dad is a perfect father or even worthy of respect, we should still seek to respect and be submissive to him as the head of the household. Likewise, as women, our words are very powerful and impactful. The way we treat the men in our life – dads, brothers, and friends – has a lot to say about our character as women of God. Be intentional and life-giving with your words, respect all the men in your life (even when it’s tough!), and be humble enough to submit and allow your father (or future boyfriend/husband!) to lead.

3) Be “set apart as holy, useful to the Master of the house, ready for every good work.”) 2 Timothy 2:21

I love this verse so much. I don’t know about you all, but I want the Lord to use me to further His Kingdom! When we live our lives in a way that is set apart, God can and will use us to be impactful woman! We must be prepared in season and out of season to preach the word – the gospel of Jesus Christ. I don’t want to neglect opportunities to shine the light of Jesus because I wasn’t ready for every good work or living in a way that is set apart. I want to be useful and I don’t want my sin to get in the way. I completely and fully believe that in order to do this, we must be in God’s word. How will we be ready for every good work and ready to preach the word if we don’t know what the Bible says?

Similarly, in Malachi 3 it talks about the Lord refining our hearts. We are such sinful, selfish people that we can’t expect to make any impact in this world without spending time with Him and allowing Christ to make us more like Him! His word pierces and sharpens, and when not only study and read His word, but are obedient to do what it says, nothing can keep us from changing this world for Christ. And what better way to prepare ourselves for marriage than pursuing the work of the Lord and sharing the gospel – because our goal in a marriage relationship should be to shine an even brighter light and testimony for Christ.

This is not an all-inclusive, step by step guide to becoming a perfect Christian, but I pray that God opens your eyes like He did mine to how I should be disciplining and challenging myself in preparation for marriage. Let Him work in your heart and make you more like Him, so that not only will your Pinterest board ready for your wedding day, your heart will be also.