{Be Loved} Connect vs. Disconnect

by: Jessica Eileen Drogosz

this post is a long time coming because its something that has been burning a hole in my heart for a while. as a creative i have a hard time shutting off my eye and mind to the way i see things as photographs.

the simplest moments i have an urge to capture, to freeze to share…

but do i necessarily need or want to?

a couple weeks ago i was out to dinner in the city and the individual i was with called me out on being distracted. its not the first time someone has shared that i seem distracted from where i really am. as a person who believes in being in the moment, who tattooed the words “carpe diem” on her wrist i am bothered by this. this gift of seeing has some how disconnected me from where i am in that moment, that love for capturing the fleeting moment sometimes gets in a way for actually feeling and living in that moment, the desire to share often takes over being present for what i want others to see. my intentions of living fully some how shift with the power of the camera – my trip to paris + london was one which i have reflected on regarding this very thing, i was so preoccupied with capturing the moment, that i forgot to be in that moment with those i cared about most. i have noticed it on special occasions – my expectations for myself is to photograph these special moments for my friends and family, they too expect it ..but it disconnects me from experiencing life with them. it allows me to capture it for them…but maybe not always for myself.

i know i am not alone in this – photographer or not…everyone is so distracted. social media is a beautiful piece of staying connected with people. but its distracting. its changing the focus. its creating such a disconnect – when its purpose is supposed to keep us connected. i love social media and i have spoke about its power many times. but it scares me that people are paying me thousands of dollars to photograph their memories – as a professional i am there to document the moments, the memories, the connections, the love of the day….i am there to photograph…yet everyone around them apparently is too.

yesterday i photographed a beautiful wedding of friends of mine, perhaps because i knew them as friends…i began to notice something i see at EVERY WEDDING i photograph…the family, the bridesmaids, the groomsman, the guests….are all so concerned about having pictures on their phone that they could forget where they are and how to live in this moment of love with their closest people. yesterday on the trolley on the way to the church all the girls had a phone in their hand while the bride was there standing beautifully on her wedding day. something struck me that this was a moment i could share the lesson i am so desperately trying to teach myself with others.

i asked them to put their phones away. i told them they should be enjoying this moment with their best friend on her wedding day. i expressed how silly it looks in pictures if their phones are glued to their hand, i shared with them that if they wanted a picture to just ask me…thats WHY i was there….i explained to them i will share all the pictures and they could post them on instagram + facebook this week… i didn’t even care if they took credit for the pictures..as long as they were IN THE MOMENT with this beautiful bride who was one of their best friends.

i am so guilty of the same, i am striving to be better and its hard, i know – but each time i look through all the images of a wedding day i am shocked at how many individuals are on their phones..every time…every wedding.

i just want to live in the moment – to really feel that experience, to embrace that human connection, to smile at the memory because it happened. to trust that if it doesn’t make its way to instagram or face book thats ok because i can share it in the stories – i can share it in my heart. i so want that for others too.

ps. jaime + lindsay thanks for being beautiful models i heart you both.