{Be Real} Letting Go for Joy

Walking down a street in any suburban neighborhood, or go to an orphanage in a foreign country, and you’ll hear the laughter of children. That sound…the way it vibrates pierces the heart. It has a way of reminding us of the joy that we all desire, the laughter that came so easily to us as children. Joy is the oxygen of life, and laughter its release.

I heard in college that children laugh an average of 300 times a day, while adults laugh less than 20 times a day. Now I don’t know how accurate this is, but doesn’t it feel true?

There is something that happens to us as we grow older, as we experience more of life, we develop fears, expectations, and ways to protect ourselves from being disappointed and hurt. And we naturally become more anxious.

I struggle with anxiety at some point every day. Rebekah Lyons said at If:Gathering that most times, the root of anxiety is unfulfilled responsibility – a feeling that we’re supposed to do something that we can’t. I know that feeling all too closely. As a business owner, I often have these feelings associated with the fact that I don’t know if I’m “doing it right.” I am my own boss, so I often worry that somehow I’m missing something. Even considering my daily to do list, my thoughts spin around so fast. And before I realize where my thoughts have led me, I’m caught in a tangled web, not sure how to escape.

Here’s the truth about worry. Worrying wears a mask: it deceives us by making us feel we’re in control of a situation that we’re actually not. It feels like we’re controlling, it feels like we’re working toward a solution, but really, we’re working ourselves tired. And we’re blocking our joy.

A few years ago, I read a life-changing book, “1000 Gifts” by Ann Voskamp. It awakened me to all the ways my heart and eyes needed to adjust to a new frequency in order to hold more of God’s joy. The Lord showed me that I was blocking His joy by my anxiety and worry. And I held expectations of myself that I could never fulfill. Unless I changed something, I would never taste the joy in life that comes to a settled heart. So I decided to start letting go.  Ann Voskamp writes,

“It’s our wild desire to protect our joy at all cost – that smothers out our joy. Like a flame needs oxygen, joy needs an open hand.”

The opening process hurts. In order to hold joy, we need to let go of what our hands are holding instead. All the worries, and all the fears. We need to let God be God.

It’s vulnerable to go before the Lord and say, God, I can’t control _______. For you, dear sister, it might be your job opportunities, your family, finances, health, or the ebb and flow of your relationships. Admitting we are not in control is hard, and letting go of the situation is even harder.

Letting go can feel like a form of betrayal. It feels like letting go of a situation is resigning to not care about it. To not work as hard as we can to fix it. These thoughts are part of the deception of worry. The truth is, when we let go, we are ultimately caring about something better – God’s will, and not ours.

According to our own will, we form expectations of ourselves and God that we have to let go, in order to receive from Him. We often think we know the best solution, don’t we? We hold onto our ideas and wait for God to adjust Himself to us and our plans. But the truth remains: only God is God. And our fragile hands human hands know this truth: we can’t hold our expectation of God and joy from God at the same time.

Any expectation that we form puts someone in a bind – whether it’s us, other people, or God. There can be no freedom living under expectation. Opening to God demands that we release all expectation of how he should act, and realize that how he does act or does not act will ultimately be for our good.

Opening our hands and our lives to receive God’s joy is perhaps one of the most vulnerable things we can do. It admits that we can’t control, we can’t create joy, or make joy. We can only open to joy.

This is why joy is a gift, like oxygen it bubbles up and surprises us. It surprises us because we don’t expect that we can hold an unshakable hope, right where we are. In that circumstance. But we can. We can because God is in every circumstances and in His presence we have “fullness of joy.” (Psalm 16) He wants to give us joy, but it’s our choice to let Him. It’s an every day choice, surrendering and opening to receive what God longs to give.

I’m writing this post sitting across from a pond, watching birds fly over the water, and then land so gracefully on its surface. The way they spread their wings, is like the soul when it lets go and abandons. When we open our hands, and our heart, to the God of the universe, the God who truly knows how to be God, the God who knows how to love us best, we can receive His gifts. And we soar into His joy.

 

 

Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.
You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

-Psalm 16:9-11

She is clothed with strength and dignity,
She laughs without fear of the future.

-Proverbs 31:25 (NLT)