{Be Real} Matches in the Ground

Sweet girls, this post is written by my beautiful friend Erin Westermeyer! She is going to be taking over half of the “Be Real” section of the blog with me and I couldn’t be more honored than to share this space with her. Her heart is a treasure, and I know you will be blessed by her honest words today.

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I’m frustrated.

My life feels busy and frantic, the kind of pace that leaves little time for simple things like cleaning and doing laundry and eating proper meals. It’s just a hurricane of appointments and obligations until finally, I find myself crying late at night, lost and overwhelmed, admitting to a friend that everything just feels off.

I’m doing a lot but I’m not connected to anything that means… anything. My to-do list is getting done, but I’m sacrificing little pieces of my sanity and my peace in the process. And yet, I can’t really understand why I feel so off.

Recently, I had a a pause, a welcome break, a time to worship God with thousands of other people. And unexpectedly, I felt His presence all the way into my bones, somewhere deep in me. I was so aware that all I wanted was for Him to fill me up and for me to pour everything out, all at once. And I wanted nothing more than His will, to use whatever I had in me for His name and His glory.

And this revelation hit me heavily, the reason nothing had felt right:

I haven’t been faithful.

I realized I’m like that servant in Matthew, in the Parable of the Talents. Except I’m not the one who was a good steward with what her master entrusted to her, the one who received the “Well done, good and faithful servant” because of her good work.

No, I’m the one who was too paralyzed by fear to do anything other than bury my gift in the ground. Afraid that I’ll fail God. Afraid that I’m not enough to complete the task. Afraid that I’ll disappoint others. Afraid that I don’t have the time. Afraid I won’t make the time. Afraid that I won’t be supported, that I won’t be understood. Afraid that I’ll mess it up and be left with nothing. Afraid that it will mean nothing.

Do you ever feel that way? Like you are neglecting all that God put in you? All that He’s freely given? Whether it’s a skill, a gift, a good job, a nice salary, a position of influence, an audience, a mission field, or maybe something even closer to your heart.

And it feels so valuable, so significant, that it’s scary to hold. It feels dangerous to carry something of so much worth. Sometimes it’s easier to let it sit dormant than to look at it head on.

“For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God… for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. By the Holy Spirit who dwells with us, guard the good deposit entrusted to you.”

-2 Timothy 1:6,7,14

I let fear take hold of me, so I keep pushing that light in me down. I keep digging holes and burying matches in the ground. Not yet. Not right now. Keep it safe. Wait it out.

I think we just have to get into His presence. Fully. And our hearts will realign with His.

You know the gifts He’s placed inside of you. You know the dream He’s planted in your heart. You know the calling He’s placed on your life. You can bury that deposit in the ground. You can choose to sit and do nothing with all that God has placed inside of you. You can busy yourself with the demands of life and people.

You can tell yourself that the time isn’t right. You can tell yourself you’re protecting yourself. You can tell yourself that you’re not ready for that responsibility.

But I just think we should stop finding reasons why we’re not qualified or why we don’t deserve the things He’s given. I think we should stop creating reasons to not be brave with our lives and the fires He’s started in our hearts.

It’s not that we’re not brave. It’s that sometimes I don’t think we want to be. Because Bravery has some big shoes to fill and if we have step in, we have to measure up.

And I think deep down, we’re scared we won’t. We’re scared we’ll fall short, that won’t be enough. That there will be no, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

But I hear Him saying this:

Fan into flame. Fan. Into. Flame. Take hold of what I’ve placed in you and let it burn. Freely. Brilliantly. You don’t belong under the ground. You weren’t meant for dust and dry bones. You were meant to shine, not because of who you are but because I live in you. Because that deposit in you radiates My love and My mercy and My glory and the world needs it poured out of you.

Because when you pour it out, it will multiply.

You can’t guard the deposit by burying it in the ground.

The only way to find your life is to let it go, and the only way to guard the deposit entrusted to you is to unleash it.

To make. To sing. To go. To stay. To create. To encourage. To dance. To serve. To love. To do. And do. And do.

Even if it looks small. Even if you don’t understand it. Even if it doesn’t look like what anyone else is doing. Whatever He’s given you, whatever He’s wired you to do, is just a vessel for His grace and love. And the world desperately needs His love.

So go get a shovel, love. It’s time to dig up lost gifts and forgotten dreams. It’s time to dig up the treasure He hid in your heart. t’s time to fully take hold of your season and your opportunities. It’s time to take those matches out of the ground and let them set your life on fire, a life so bright that all can be seen is Him.

The life of a good and faithful servant.

 

“As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus strong up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life. O Timothy, guard the deposit entrusted to you.”

-1 Timothy 6:17-20