{Be Real} The Answer is You

Let’s be real: looking for community is just plain hard.

I think deep inside ourselves, we know what community is meant to be. We know God intends real community to be a space for us to love and be loved, for us to be challenged, to be kept accountable, to feel known and accepted, where we are vulnerable and safe. Yet I know I’ve had seasons of deep discouragement when I’ve measured what they’re supposed to be against how they actually are.

I’ve cried many tears over community. And I know I’m not alone. I’m not the only one who has ever wondered, God, can I just find what I’m looking for already?

The truth is: it takes work, intentionality, and time to develop relationships.

You know that reality, deeply and truly, if you have ever looked for a new church, youth group, friends, bible study…or people who just “get” you.

But the problem is, we can’t shop for a community the way we shop for a new pair of shoes. And yet, I’m afraid that’s often how we approach community, isn’t it?

We’re so used to convenience. So many of our lives are built upon comfort, and being able to access unlimited information with a click of a button. If something in our house breaks, we don’t need to fix it; we can just go out to the store and buy another one.

So with a similar outlook, we fit our relationships around convenience. And when it comes to looking for community, we walk into a church building or a small group with a figurative “check list” of what would meet our needs.

We approach community wanting to receive it all…but rarely do we think about giving it all we have.

What if we changed that?

What if we changed our outlook as a consumer, looking to receive; and instead thought of giving and how the Lord wants to use us to impact other people?

I think communities are just waiting for us, waiting for us to come and give.

This summer, I met with some girls to create vision boards, and during the course of our discussion, we found out that not only one of us was looking for deeper community, but we ALL were. I had told one girl how I felt, she had told someone else, that person had told another, and suddenly, there were 7 of us sitting in one room with one heart.

We had all been a part of the same community groups, all holding this longing in our hearts for something more. But none of us had done anything about it until that moment, when we realized we were not alone. We all had a heart for more.

It’s easy to look at any place, any community, and have a longing for it to BE more. I think the Lord gives us these feelings because He has called us to a higher place.

He’s just waiting for someone to be bold enough to start, and to invite others on the journey.

This season, the Lord challenged me with this: whatever you are “looking for” in community, you should just BECOME it.

My friends and I became community by starting a bible study. It was so simple what we did. But it took so much time to realize. What if one of us had just decided to take a risk and do it?

Here’s the thing. We spend so much time waiting for other people, but sometimes, God is standing there waiting for us. He puts all His faith in us to act. And He gives us everything we need to do it.

But when we are focused on our own need, we are blind to the needs of others. And God wants us to see beyond us. See that He has given us gifts and talents that other people need. And when we have a greater awareness of what those are, we can better see with the eyes of the Lord. We can find purpose in seeing needs and meeting them.

God has called us to a higher place in community. The place where we can go beyond self-focus and see that other people are hurting. The place where instead of “looking” for community, we realize that we can embody it. We can embody a place to invite people in. We can embody healing others’ wounds. And BE all those things we wish others were for us.

We can BE the gift to others because we have the greatest gift, inside of us. The Lord’s presence – a forever community – a forever love, that will never fade or leave us. We carry community within us, and we are community.

By God’s strength, let’s BE community, girls.

The answer to what you’re “looking for,” is you.

 

“Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.”

-Matthew 7:12

“O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love; For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.”

St. Francis of Assisi