{Be Real} The Bridge from Me to You

We’ve all been there.  That first time you walk into a room, a new community setting, and you grab your iced tea and little plate with food and walk up to a person to talk.  Gulp.  What do I even say?

We all have walls – and how do we bridge them?

You know and I know, that we can talk about sports or the weather or even the pastor’s sermon, but unless we give people a piece of our hearts, we will never have a piece of theirs.

The only bridge from us to them is vulnerability.

It really is the only way.  And in making that choice, someone always has to go first.

I know how scary it is.  It’s scary for me too.  Even here, typing on the other edge of the screen.  When God asked me to write to you, He started stretching me, and my heart, to do something that I’ve always been afraid of.  Showing you my imperfections without being afraid.

As soon as you tell someone something vulnerable, there is a fear.  What will they think i they see the real me?  What will people think when they realize I’m so imperfect?  

Maybe you struggle with vulnerability too, and I’m not the only one.

I struggle because I spent such a large portion of my life placing my value in performance.  I held my value together by trying hard and “succeeding,” straight A after A.  But the truth of how I felt about myself?  I felt like I was weak, like my voice didn’t matter, and that I didn’t matter.  I felt unseen.

The more I performed, the more I felt worthy of being seen, as I patched over these tender, fragile places of my heart.  As you know and I know, even after we let God’s healing into our hearts, those tender places do not go away completely.  They’re not meant to- our cracks are places for God to come in with His light.  And our cracks are places to show others God’s grace.

When I first posted on Instagram in November that I started writing on the Delight blog, it felt like a band-aid was ripped off.  I felt raw.  I felt butterflies in my stomach.  I felt a very real, oh no, if there’s any time my future writing career will fail, or I will fail, it’s now.  Now that they can see the real me.

And then came a freedom.  A freedom that said, even if I fail, at least I’m following God with all I’ve got.  I knew then in my deepest heart that God wanted me to be vulnerable, and that He planned to work in my heart in this space with you.

Here’s a truth, friends, a truth that my mother has told me for years, and it still echoes in my mind and heart:

“When a woman tells the truth, she creates the possibility for more truth around her.”

Let that sink in.

Truth is something that ripples.  When you create a space where you can be honest first, you create a space for other people.

A space where they don’t feel they have it all together.  A place where they are not alone in their struggles because you’re struggling too.

Christians aren’t people who have it all together.  We’re people who are all broken and yet, need each other to heal our hearts.  And that healing can only come by crossing the bridge of vulnerability.

“How are you?” the inevitable question will come.

Your answer determines how the conversation will go.  When you make the choice to be vulnerable first, it doesn’t feel great.  You might be choking back emotion or praying the person leaves the room before you open your heart.  But after the words come out, “Not good, actually, I’m having a hard time,” you can exhale, and they will too.

And always remember: we don’t have to do this in our own strength.  We don’t have to do this in our own wisdom.  The Lord will show us how to speak, how and when to open up, and what to say to others when we are open to His Spirit.

Every small risk of vulnerability that God calls us to is a place for us to trust Him, and His power that works within us.

I can’t even tell you how grateful I am to be a part of this community with you, sister, to have this space to be vulnerable, and to hear from your hearts.  I’m praying for you that the Lord will give you wisdom and discernment, and empower you by His Spirit to build bridges in your relationships with others as you are vulnerable this year and share more of your heart.

Here is a manifesto we can take with us into our communities:

 

We are women who tell the truth and create an atmosphere where others can exhale around us.

We are women who tenderly hold the hearts of others, and care for each other’s souls.

We are women who don’t have to be afraid of our cracks, because they are spaces where we accept and radiate God’s grace.

We are women who boldly cross bridges to embrace others, because our example is Christ, who crossed every bridge to embrace us.

 

We don’t have to fear because He is with us – and we’re covered with grace upon grace.

 

“The Lord is my light and my salvation,

Whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the strength of my life;

Of whom shall I be afraid?”

-Psalm 27:1

“Be strong and of good courage;

do not be afraid or dismayed;

for the Lord your God is with you

wherever you go.”

-Joshua 1:9

I’m going to ask something of you vulnerably.  Can you write something back to me in the “comments” if anything I say to you hits home?  This week, or any other.  I’m pouring out my heart, and would love to know what is touching yours.  It will help me serve you better – and just to know that the Lord is using this section of the blog for His glory :)