{Be Real} The Stories We Tell

Spiritual Growth

September 21, 2015

“I’m disappointed.”

That’s what I thought to myself when I kept hearing the stories. Stories of misused trust and public degradation. Within the body of Christ. Sisters hurting sisters. Family betraying family. Friends shaming friends.

And I wasn’t angry so much as I was disappointed. Sad. Confused.

This world is a chaotic and tumultuous place, and we have enough persecution from all sides without having to worry about the attacks coming from the inside. And I honestly didn’t understand. I couldn’t wrap my brain around it.

I was obviously disappointed that people I loved and trusted and respected could let me down so much.

But even more? I was more disappointed that my immediate response wasn’t grace.

I think our first reaction to unfair behavior is to get angry and upset and to demand justice. Certain things really fire me up and I can get so outraged in defense of myself or of someone I love. When that happens, I end up shunning whoever has offended me or excluding whoever has hurt someone I care about.

Girls, here’s the beautiful thing about broken situations. When conflicts arise, when bad things happen, whether caused by the world or one of our very own sisters, we have the incredible opportunity to extend grace.

We get to shine Jesus on the situation. We get to respond with a gentle heart instead of hasty and hurtful words.

“Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.” -Galatians 6:1

“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in the manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness and patience, bearing with one another in love.” -Ephesians 4:2

I think we need to be better at bearing with one another. We need to think the best of everyone, especially our sisters. We need to see the best because Jesus sees the best. In every single one of them. In every dirty part of us.

The reason most of us do hurtful things? Because we believe a story about ourselves that just isn’t true. The story that says we’re unremarkable or too much or not enough or somehow fatally flawed. And we tell ourselves that story so much that we begin to play into that role, over and over again. The story that wraps around our deepest insecurity, our deepest fear, our deepest vulnerability.

When someone lets’s us down, let’s dare to look past the what to see the why. Find the untruth wreaking havoc on their hearts and speak to that. Don’t count them out. Don’t shame their hearts.

Because here’s the truth of the matter: God still uses broken people. In fact, it almost seems like a prerequisite for God to move through us. We’re going wreck it. Other people may wreck us. But we need to be people that gently speak to the lies in their heads, for their own sake, instead of harshly judging the actions those lies cause for our own.

How we respond to mistakes and offense is going to make all the difference. Our response has the power to pound those lies even further into their core or to set them free from the chains that keep them bound to something they were never meant to be. We can choose to call them out or call them up. (Thanks for that reminder, Jess Connelly.)

the stories we tell - delight and be

So whether you feel like you’ve been the one messing things up or you feel like someone continues to let you down, know this. You don’t belong in that story, the one of conflict and offense and grudges and broken relationships. You belong in the one called Grace. The story where we let Grace cover us and where we pour it out on others. The one where we mess up but Grace sneaks in and changes our ways. The one where others let us down, but we constantly, in faith, put on gentleness to say, “I’m not letting you live the lie. You were called to greater things. And we’re going to walk that way, together.”