{Be Real} When Life Gets Cancerous

 I’m sitting in the hospital’s waiting room. People are walking everywhere, a thousand different voices are coming in from every direction.
The world spins faster and faster around me, and I can hear my pulse pounding in my ear.
From somewhere to my left I hear my name being called, but nothing registers. I know my name, but at the same time, I have no idea who ‘Jessica’ is.

The nurse’s voice rings out again “Jessica, the doctor is ready to see you now.”
The world stops spinning,  the voices grow mute, and I stand up.

This is when the battle begins. This is where the first punch is thrown.

I do not have cancer, not in the dictionary definition of the disease, not like those I have watched as they are eaten alive by the deadly disease.
But I have seen it manifest in two forms, an abnormality caused in the cells in the body, and an abnormality grown from the people in one’s life.

I know the symptoms, and I’ve seen the signs.

What do you do when life gets cancerous?

When something or someone in life gets toxic, and the emotional pain becomes more then your heart can bear?
When that relationship takes more then it gives?
When that job leaves you in tears?
When their words leave a heavy feeling in your stomach, and an aching hole in your heart?

There is no chemo that can save you, their is no radiation, no surgery, no medication.
Nothing is medically wrong with you, and yet the pain is chronic, the ‘tumor’ so big now that you can no longer ignore its presence.

There is no running from it, the diagnosis has been decided, and treatment is going to hurt like hell.

What do you do when life gets cancerous?

You have to cut the toxic part out. You need to operate, and you need help.

It isn’t easy. It is not easy AT ALL. It’s going to make you sick, it is going to make you angry, and it is going to make you hopeful all at once. Your going to love the freedom, and your going to miss the ‘tumor’. Your going to go into remission, and your going to fight letting the cancer grow back.

But your going to make it.

What do you do when life gets cancerous?

You fight. You let go. Your forgive. You survive.

But you don’t do it alone.

“You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn
through the sleepless nights,
Each tear entered in your ledger,
each ache written in your book.”

Psalm 56: 8
The Message