{Be Loved} Leading Lady

by: Courtney Pooler

So I was watching the new show The Carrie Diaries….yeah, you heard me right. I’m watching a teen-targeted show on the CW, so what? I’m… staying relevant. Okay, that’s such a lie. I’m a 16 year old trapped in a 30-something body and I’m watching it because I love it. I’m a sucker for the 80’s and fashion and I admit it- I wanted to know how Carrie became… Carrie. Who she was before HBO got a hold of her. It’s a flashback into Carrie Bradshaw’s Junior year of high school, and truth be told, I like it better than the original SATC. It’s cleaner and funner and all of those improper English words. She is imagining what her whole life might be like and she’s excited at all of the hopes and dreams and possibilities… it was inspiring and made me giddy.

And I started to wonder…. What would my CW show look like? I used to be just like that, all giddy and hopeful and ready to take the world by storm in my Junior year of High School! How did Courtney become Courtney? Who was I before life got a hold of me?

Well, I had lots of florescent clothes. And I was a fashion victim. However, my mom did take a quick break from her conservative, Little House on The Prairie all-natural organic home-made Martha-Stewart self and let me get an asymmetrical hair cut. Yeah, you’ve got that right. Perm, short on one side and long on the other. It was epically cool. The grow-out was epically UNcool. I wanted to dress like Madonna and my mom thought God would strike her dead if she bought me the album. {Google it: album.} I begged her so much that she went to the local grocery store (yep. That’s right. That was the only place to buy music in my hometown) and was mortified as she hid the record amongst her groceries, and prayed no one from church would run into her. And even then we had to have a talk about allllll of the lyrics and how it lined up with God’s truth, and only then could we dance around to it.

Also, a little peek into my CW show: I was not the cool girl. I was the dorky girl who wanted to be cool so badly I remember aching inside because of it. The cool girls had really long hair and carried their ghetto-blasters {again, google it} on their shoulders and blasted Michael Jackson {google him} and everyone followed them around. But not me. I watched them with longing from the sidelines, wishing that could be me. But one thing was certain: if I couldn’t be the leader, I was not going to be one of the lemmings following behind. I didn’t have the cool clothes, and I certainly didn’t have the confidence, but I did know this: If I started being a lemming follower, I’d never stop. I had a keen sense even in 2nd grade that when you put yourself in a position of allowing yourself to view yourself as ‘lesser’ and view yourself as the lemming …it’s a hard role to give up.

I knew I was a dork, and we all knew we weren’t as cool as those couple of girls who ran the playground and knew they were admired by the rest… but I was an awkward dork that was realistic about my strengths and weaknesses. I wasn’t bitter or jealous – envious, yes. But I didn’t want anything to do with the whole crowd following around the pretty girls business. But I wasn’t going to type-cast myself as a mindless follower, either. I would wait to audition for a role when I knew I would be able to claim the lead. I had way too much training to do before I was ready, so I just took my time coming into my own.

That’s not a bad rule for us even past the playground. We are wonderfully and fearfully made – maybe you embrace your dorkiness. {It’s my philosophy we all should!} But I don’t think any of us should take a backseat or question which role we have as daughters of the Almighty King. We are heiresses to the most meaningful fortune available to us on earth or in heaven!

There is a movie called The Holiday, where Kate Winslet plays a character who has never been the first choice of a man she loved, and she takes off to LA to mourn her broken heart. She ends up befriending an old Hollywood producer who is a legend and he shares industry jargon with her. He explains that there are 2 roles for women – the best friend and the leading lady. He tells her that she has all of the characteristics of a leading lady, but she’s been acting like the supporting actress/the ‘best friend’ role.

That is a wonderful description for what I believe so many of us do without realizing it. As Kate Winslet’s character so beautifully states, “You should be the leading lady of your own life!” And I agree. And so does God. Proverbs 31:25 states “She is clothed with strength and dignity…” Do not clothe yourself with anything else, ladies. We are “….Holy and dearly loved…” {Col. 3:12} by the. GOD.of.the.universe. and we’ve gotta live like it. We need to be unashamed of the glory of God that lives within us, and ought to be shining out of us… our own personal spotlight! Which will make the name of Jesus famous, because His daughters are living like their heavenly Father. Not to bring glory to us – but in stepping into the spotlight, and claiming our own God-given leading role in life, we are showing the world the good that God has done within us.

And sure, like more than a few leading ladies, we might forget our worth and stumble and fall and end up with our unwise choices across the front pages…. But if that happens {or is happening} I have a couple words of advice based on the mistakes of others who went before us: get outta the darkness and step back into that light – that spotlight that shines your Father’s love and purpose down on you.

You are beautiful. You have a leading role that God wrote especially for you. Step into that God-glorifying light. You are not making famous the name of Jesus by being the understudy to a role that was made for you. You have a purpose. Go get your neon on, grab that ghetto-blaster and own that playground girls!

What are you aching for? What is the role that God has for you? What is keeping you from being the leading lady in your own life?

 

 

image by: Trevor Dayley Photography