It works up slowly.
So much so that you often don’t even realize the machine’s been built, let alone turned on and running smoothly. That little green machine– the one that produces feelings of inadequacy and stress, pits friend against friend, and breeds discontent– takes very little to build and so much to destroy.
Envy.
It manifests in many ways in this industry, creeps up in places you wouldn’t expect. It cranks to life as your favorite blog’s latest wedding post loads. It sputters and picks up speed when you visit with a friend who has the latest gear. It surges when you see that person’s status about how busy they are when you have no sessions lined up.
Envy.
The ever mighty green machine of comparison.
I’ve fought my own battles with it. Envy isn’t a stranger to any of us if we’re being honest. Let’s face it: there will always be someone with more or better gear than you; will always be someone whose work you look up to; will always be a friend with more bookings or consistent business. When you compare yourself- your business, your story- to anyone else’s, you’ll always find a way to come up short.
It’s utterly unfair.
“Comparison is the thief of joy,” Eleanor Roosevelt said. And she’s right; comparison is one of the quickest ways to cut joy out of your work and your life. Unfortunately, comparison is also a fairly frequent part of our lives.
So what do you do? How do you fight that green machine? Here’s how I try to handle it.
1) Pray. Immediately. As soon as you realize that discontentment or jealousy is stirring inside you. I tend to pray for contentment in my current place, pray for peace and for a change of my heart. You’ll be amazed and how quickly a cry for help is answered by the Spirit of God.
Remember that your story is not their story. The Lord has purposes for your life that are utterly unique to you. The same is true for everyone else. Where God has you right now, in this present moment, is the exact place He has for you. Instead of focusing on what you want from the future or what your peers are doing, focus on Him. What is He trying to say to you? What does He want from you in the here and now? What is He calling you to in your present season? Take the time to ask Him and be still before Him until you hear the answer. His ways are not our ways and His timing is perfect. Rest in that, knowing He is weaving your story into His own for His glory; wherever you are, whatever He has for you- it will not be in vain if you’re following Him.
2) Take a step back from everyone else. This is a big and difficult step, but often a necessary one. You know all those awesome photographers you’re following on Facebook? And those gorgeous blogs you’re following that post amazing eye-candy every day? And those great Facebook groups where you chat business with your friends? You may need to walk away from them for awhile and spend that time focusing on Christ, first and foremost, and your own work and business after that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving the work of someone else; there’s also nothing wrong with following blogs or joining groups. The problem comes when being involved in and following those things start to steal your joy. If you find yourself discouraged at your equipment after seeing someone post in a group about their new 5D Mark iii or being able to attend that big conference you wanted to go to so badly but couldn’t make happen– maybe it’s time to take a few days and not visit that page for awhile. If you find yourself bombarded with the work of others– feeling like it’s better than yours or even much worse than your own or getting discouraged by the amount of recent work they have when you haven’t had a session in weeks– it may be time to un-like a few Facebook pages. Walk away from keeping tabs on what everyone else in the industry is doing and focus on what the Lord is telling you to be doing. He is faithful. He will speak to you and lead you forward, and you’ll find rest and peace in the process.
What it all comes down to is believing and trusting that God is who He says He is, and that by extension you are who He says you are. Because the Word tells us that God is the giver of every good and perfect gift; that He cares for us, deeply; that He goes before His people and that He moves mightily in, through, and around them. If that’s true (and it is) then you have to believe that He is already at work in your life, that He cares about your desires and heartaches, that He is right there with you in all of this, ready to take you to a higher place than you were even dreaming up.
Maybe you don’t have as many bookings as you’d like because He’s preparing your heart for something bigger. Maybe you can’t afford the gear you want because He’s going to do something amazing for His glory with what you have now. Maybe your blessings are coming in a different form than what you want or expect, but I can guarantee you that those blessings will be infinitely more than what you were picturing in your head. In the end, it will all be worth the present struggle. Because in the end, He will be glorified in your story, no matter how many chapters it takes to get to the part you’re waiting for and no matter what plot twists come along the way.
And there’s nothing that green machine can do to change that.
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[…] little something I wrote on envy, comparison and how to battle those feelings is up on the Delight blog today. If […]