Forgetfulness, and Meeting With God
by: Emily Livingston
“My faith is my sanity. It’s true. I am truly not in my right mind when I do not meet with my Heavenly Father in the morning before the hurry of classes and friends and work.
My faith is me rolling out of bed a little earlier than I need to and sitting on the floor with a cup of coffee and opening my bible. Maybe I’ll just read something random and hope for the best. Maybe I’ll just sit in the presence of God asking Him to speak to my heart. Simply sitting in the presence of God is something I’m currently teaching myself to do.
Mornings like yesterday, when I wake up late and have to chug down coffee and rush through the morning beauty routine only to trek through a morning rain storm without a rain coat but mostly not having time to meet up with God, I am not the happiest version of myself. On a day like yesterday, I felt a little off until I had my lunch break where I pulled out my bible and sat in the dining hall alone with my lame dining hall lunch soaking up the word like a dried up sponge. I felt less alone with my nose in this holy book. I felt God. I felt encouraged and challenged and loved and everything seemed to make sense again.
I wish I could always remember that feeling when I opened my bible in the dining hall, just absolutely craving truth, but I don’t sometimes. I’ve learned that one of our biggest faults a humans is our forgetfulness. It’s not that sometimes we don’t need God, or that some days we can get through without meeting with Him at all, it’s that we forget. We forget what our hearts are like when we are with Him. We forget all He has done for us. We are misled by our fortune that somehow we are deserving or that perhaps we earned our fortune all by our little selves.
It might sound strange to you, but I’d rather be reminded how undeserving I am but how incredibly loved and blessed I am rather than go through my days believing that I am in control and I am dependent on what I can do for myself.”
with love,
Emily Livingston
