Heartache.

It hits at unexpected times, and one can ever be prepared for it. No matter what preparation one attempts, the pain, when it accrues, is always a shock. Though you might not be enveloped in it at this moment, at one time or another, you will have pain. Sadly, it is a fact that we shall have to face. Some of us will receive that dreaded phone call, the one that makes your heart stop and your palms sweat. Others of us will be found sitting in white walled doctor’s offices attempting to comprehend what life will be like with the diagnosis.

I was that person in that doctor’s office, attempting to block out their words, yet knowing all too well, that they – the doctors – would have no cure or hope for me.

Whether you want to or not, you will face pain in this life, along with the soul crushing question:

“Why?”

There will come a day, when you are bleeding on your knees, crying out to God, asking and wondering what you have done to deserve such suffering.

Although I have walked through much suffering in my young life, I have never found the answer to that question of “why.” Nonetheless, The Lord has begun to teach me through the heartbreak about Himself and His plans.

His ways are not my ways.

“‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the LORD.”  – Isaiah 55:8

Would you be willing to say this and to declare it with your whole heart? Although you might not know His plan or the heart behind His actions, His ways are higher, his thoughts are purer, and His love toward you is great. He, in His infinite wisdom, knows what we need as His children.

The LORD gives, yet He also takes away.

“and (Job) said: ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.'” – Job 1:21

The Lord is a Giver of good gifts. The Giver of life and purpose. Yet, He also takes away, just as my health was taken from me.

Dear reader, preach to your soul.

Speak the truth of God being God to your soul. You might not know or understand why God has taken a gift from your hands, yet proclaim this truth, just as Job did thousands of years ago.

Though he had lost his health, his children, and his wealth, Job boldly stated, “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.” – Job 13:15

It takes a soul with courage to look at their pain and heartache, and nonetheless trust Him within it all. I don’t understand the reason behind my suffering yet, but He does.

We, as Christians, can walk in our lives, trusting the hands and heart of our Maker, knowing that our pain is not meaningless.

One day, whether on this earth or in Heaven, we shall know the reason behind our tears and heartbreaks.

Keep fighting the good fight, Dear One.

 

 

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Eliza Downer, a teacher by day and writer by night, can often be found hiking in nearby mountain ranges or sipping a cup of coffee. She currently resides in Colorado with her parents and 10 siblings. Read her blog here.