{Be Confident} Comparison: Thief of Joy

Today the ever lovely Courtney Smith is taking over the Be Confident section!   I know, for me, that comparison is one of THE biggest joy stealers in my life each and every day.  I was so encouraged by her words, and I know you will be too!   xo AnnaFilly

We’ve all been there, haven’t we? Scrolling through facebook and feeling disgusted with ourselves, thinking, “I could never be as talented as Kate” or “I will never be as beautiful as Amy.”

When I first started my little photo business, I used to stalk (quite literally) the blogs and photos of all the “greats,” and constantly compare my work to theirs. It’s funny to look back on, because why would I (having really just begun) be as good as someone that’s been at it for 15+ years?! But I won’t lie, I wanted to just get it over with and BE them already. In my mind, they were so much more talented than I would ever be…than God had even given silly ol’ me the capacity to be! Don’t get me wrong. I have a wonderful family that raised me in church, supported my dreams, showered me with love, and taught me to always love myself. I married an amazing, supportive, Godly man. But in the battle of life, all of this just wasn’t enough. My confidence just couldn’t withstand the constant scrutiny and comparison I was putting myself under. I was continually disgusted with myself, with my photos, with my website, with my editing.  I would lie awake at night, tossing and turning, wondering to myself if I would ever be good enough to compete. Wondering if others were laughing at me for being so passionate about something I was no good at. Wondering if I should just quit and look for another job.

I could tell you that this stops with age or that it eases with experience. And while there’s a tiny bit of truth to that, it’s not the truth that you think. Business-wise, this didn’t ease for me until my second year full-time, when I began feeling a huge need for God at the center of my life. Up until this point, I had been a Christian in name, but I wasn’t giving my life fully over to Christ. I was safely skating the edge instead of going all in, scared that friends and family would make fun of me for going all “Jesus-freak” on them. I was constantly wondering why I didn’t feel God in my life; wondering why I didn’t feel his hand on my life and my business.

Theodore Roosevelt said it so perfectly when he stated, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”Something so simple. So obvious. So humbling. So true. The first time I heard this, it stopped me dead in my tracks. It really was stealing my joy. This constant focus on the material, on my work, and on comparing everything about myself and my business to those around me. It was breaking me and turning me into an unhappy person that I didn’t recognize. It was putting so much hate in my heart, not just for myself but for those I considered competition.

I didn’t see myself as being “un-Christian.” I believed in God, went to church, and claimed to be living for Him. But I needed to make a change. So I started slowly, beginning a daily devotion and prayer journal. Within the first week, I felt God making such a change in my heart, spirit, and attitude towards life. For the first time in such a long time, I felt God actually working in my life. Reminders of his love and faithfulness were like a salve to my wounds I had inflicted on my spirit. I slowly began to realize that I didn’t need to be perfect, and my work didn’t have to be just like so & so’s to be good. For the first time, I began to understand that God, long before I was born, created me with a purpose. He intentionally crafted me, with a plan for my life to do His will, completely separate from those I was comparing myself to. Instead of competing with others and worrying about how many likes I got on facebook, I began to view my life and business as an avenue to glorify Him; to shine His light in a dark world. When I finally saw my life for what it was, for what God had intended, comparing seemed so pointless. If I was doing what God designed me to do, then the rest of it didn’t matter, and God would take care of me.

In Galatians 6:4, God tells us, “Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.” Ladies, I’m here to tell you that the truth in this is life-changing, and HE is where true joy can be found! Comparison, whether it be in your work, your looks, your belongings, or your life in general, will only rob you of the complete and utter happiness that should be filling your heart as a child of God!  When we are giving our all to glorify Him, we are doing what we were created for.

And in that, there’s no room for comparison. Only joy.

Courtney is a wife, wedding photographer, and schnoodle-mom living on the outskirts of St. Louis, MO. She bakes too many sweets, and on any free Saturday, you will more than likely find her at the local thrift shops buying household items so she can re-decorate (again). She would like to own a farm for all stray animals of the world, but her husband isn’t on board just yet. Most days, she lives off of coffee and grace, and is thankful daily for the abundant blessings of this messy/beautiful life.