{Be Real} Nobody Better Lay a Finger on My Confidence

I was scrolling through my news feeds on the various social media networks I subscribe too, and I can’t even seem to get through 5 posts without seeing the same thing.
A gorgeous girl, in a little outfit smiling big, and glowing with what would be defined as ‘self-confidence’.
But all that I see is a girl who, just like me, is spoon fed huge helpings of what beauty and a woman’s allure should be.

Are you thin enough?
How big is your bust and how small is your band?
How big is your bum, and how small is your waist?
How much can you show before your ‘self -confidence’ is just plain slutty?
Why can’t you just have the confidence to wear a bikini like her?

But what if feeling  more comfortable in a tankini is okay? What if instead of being so concerned with how much cleavage we are showing, we wondered how bright we were shining? What if we stopped wasting so much energy on trying to define our worth in measurements, and started making a difference in this world?
I was reading a book earlier last year, and it said something that really stuck with me.

You are beautiful exactly as you are.  Just by being a girl you have something beautiful, and powerful that can only be described as a woman’s allure.
But what do you see everywhere? This idea that even perfection, isn’t perfect anymore. Satan is attacking us, and trying to convince us that our allure is something that you have to earn with weight watching and dieting.

THIS IS A BIG FAT LIE.

What if we believed we could find love, and still save our kisses? What if we believed that our GOD designed bodies are pretty darn cool, and should be taken care of?
My body is not my own. Right now it’s just the temple in which I worship my GOD. It helps me photograph, dance, sing, and laugh. But one day it might be shared with a husband, and I want him to be the only one to have seen it.

When we take confidence and define it as something that has to do with our selves we will be disappointed.  Confidence can’t be earned with good grades, and a good attitude. It can’t be bought with fancy clothes and friendships. Sure all of these things help make us feel strong, stunning, and help us believe in ourselves, but these are results of something else.

When I take the time to take care of myself, I feel like someone worth taking care of. When I study and work hard for my grades (even if I don’t get the grade I want) all that matters is that I tried with all that I am. When I dress up, eat what’s good for me, and take the time to do my make up I feel healthy and beautiful. It no longer matters all that much to me what others think because I can be confident that I am giving my all in everything I do.

But none of this matters if it isn’t done for someone else. I read things from girls who do all these things and still they buy into this lie that they are worthless- that their best just isn’t good enough. That they may be eating healthy, but so what? That they may be studying hard, but the grade says something else. They may be dressing up, and doing things that make them feel worth it, but they can’t help but notice that the boys still aren’t following them around. Not a single one.

I believe what makes the difference between confidence and self confidence is are we investing in ourselves, or are we investing in GOD’s kingdom.
I do not have this all figured out at all. I make horrible mistakes in my faith, and I do not always do everything with GOD’s glory in mind. But when a relationship with GOD is the desire of my heart, when it is what I know I need to survive… life gets better.  I know what it’s like to hate myself.  I know that hunger that comes from skipping meals. I know the sting of a blade on my flesh, and I know what it means to define your self by a boys opinion. It really isn’t worth it.

So what if instead of self-confidence, we tried GOD- confidence? What if we put our faith not in our own abilities, but in GOD’s infinite abilities?