The evergreen trees were covered with snow; all nature was quiet in one grand hush. The trail stretched out ahead, endlessly. I gripped the edge of my ski poles, looked down at my feet as I glided each ski forward, forward. I don’t know how long my body was in this motion before I realized, I was still looking down at my feet, as if waiting to fall.
There was no reason I needed to look down; in fact, all of nature was calling me to look up. But fear – now fear had a voice of its own, and it can so gently drown out the voice of God.
I knew in that moment that looking down wasn’t keeping me from falling – and in fact, I felt more certain that I would. Staying focused on the ground would surely take me down to it.
So I did what I could. I took a step of faith, and I picked up my head. Stood there for a moment, looking up. Then I started moving my feet. I gasped at the beauty all around me, felt the peace that enveloped the landscape, and for the first time saw God’s presence with me that day.
It was the looking up that took me from fear’s grip.
I’ve lived in its grip before. For the last few months, fear and I had been close friends, not wanting to forsake each other. Holding onto it felt so safe, when in actuality, it was slowly eating away at my soul. It was keeping me from looking up at God.
There is only one kind of fear that is good – the fear of the Lord, that’s the beginning of wisdom.
Every other fear, when we hold onto it, keeps us tucked away so safe, that we can’t feel the love of the Father, can’t feel His warm embrace, can’t hear His still and steady breath.
It happens so suddenly – and I don’t think any of us purposes in our hearts to be led by fear instead of love. But there are areas in all our lives, places we have been hurt, places we struggle to trust.
And if you’re like me, maybe this past year you have imagined a few catstrophes. You’ve let your mind take a situation into the future, and to a terrible end – and you felt so, so alone there. You haven’t fully invited God in. You haven’t imagined Him there in the future with you.
Here’s the good news, sweet girl.
The love of God is higher and deeper and wider than even our worst fears – and this love is seeking out you and me – right now.
This love is calling to us, telling us that this year can be different – this year will be different.
Fear and love can’t coexist; and whether we like it or not, we choose to live in one or the other.
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.”
-1 John 4:18
Choosing to live not in fear but in love this year is a choice; and faith is it’s leader.
Faith will lead us through the valleys we don’t know how to walk into this year, the mountains we don’t know how to climb. It will remind us who God is and always has been.
He has always been faithful, and He has always been with us. Through every season. This is our hope – that no matter what comes,
“Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For you are with me;
Your rod and staff, they comfort me…
Surely your goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life…”
-Psalm 23:4,6
This is our promise. Goodness and mercy shall follow us – or as it says in the Message translation, “His beauty and love chase after [us]” How beautiful is it that His love will always, always, chase us?
Ann Voskamp writes, “All fear is the notion that God’s love ends. And when does it ever end?”
This year, I’m choosing to live a #NoFearNewYear, and I hope you will too.
I don’t expect to never fear this year. But fear will not have the final word. Fear will answer to a higher voice, a truer voice. A voice that gives us freedom to live as God’s beloved.
If anyone is in Christ, He is a new creation. You are a new creation. I am a new creation.
This year, we can let our fears bow to our faith. We can live as His beloved daughters. And know in every season, we are safe in His arms. We are safe to expect that good things are up ahead. Things so wonderful that we can’t possibly comprehend them.
“Eye has not seen,
Nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”
– 1 Corinthians 2:9
It felt like a new birth, embracing the snow that day, my feet on skis moving briskly back and forth, back and forth.
I saw the sunshine as it sparkled on the snow; and I knew, the way it shined, was like love burning bright in my heart again. The trail between the snow-covered evergreen trees stretched forward, and I smiled; contemplating all the beauty waiting up ahead.
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name;
You are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you,
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
Nor shall the flame scorch you.
For I am the LORD your God…
Behold, I will do a new thing,
Now it shall spring forth;
Shall you not know it?
I will even make a road in the wilderness
And rivers in the desert.”
Isaiah 43:1-2, 19
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Beautiful post, Ker! Standing with you in your #NoFearNewYear. Love you, sweet sister. XO