{Be Confident} The Middle

I’m somewhere in the middle.

Not quite where I was, and not quite where I’m going.

And I’ve discovered that in the middle of things is where this life meets me.

One minute, I think I’m pushing forward, but in the next, life keeps coming full force in my direction.

And then I find that I’m surrounded.

So surrounded by life that I am almost swallowed up in my “good works” and the busyness of it all.

This year, I made it my goal to say yes to where I felt the Lord leading me. To not be held back by fear and insecurities, and to simply follow.

What I’ve found is that yes is only part of the answer.

Because often, while I’m running here and there, marking this and that off the checklist – I forget.

I forget why I started or where I’m heading. I forget who I belong to and what all this busyness amounts to.

I pour myself into so many things, just to look around and see that I’ve lost focus of any one thing. Of the one thing that matters most.

So caught up in the middle, that I forget altogether to be a faithful servant in more than just deeds.

I forget to simply take the time to come to Him.

I’m always searching for my own thoughts. The exact words to describe to God what I’m feeling. It’s almost like I’m waiting for the answer before I go to the Lord with it.

So now, having no clue where this is going – and before I take another step in the direction of trying to figure things out on my own – I just want to take a time-out from all the chaos and the “right words.” I just want to lay before Him what is in this heart, in whatever form it comes out.

—

God, 

You see us.

You see exactly where we are. 

You know where we’ve been and where we’re going.

You know all the doubts and questions that fill us. All the fears and the unknowns that can consume us. You know that we’re always trying to solve things on our own. That we can be fearful of the unknown. That we take on too much and let priorities fall to the wayside. That we get so lost in the middle that we lose sight of what we set out to accomplish. 

It’s so easy to get caught up in “now,” and easy to let days go by without stopping to thank you. Without stopping to even realize all the ways that you’ve been guiding us. Without as much as even telling you what’s in our heart.

Yet you have chosen each of us. And you love us all through our mess.

And you never leave us. 

How can we ever thank you enough for your patience and grace. We so often take it for granted, and it’s so much more than we deserve.

All the ways that you’ve been faithful to us. You, the one that gave your Son to take our place, are faithful to us.

In spite of  fears and insecurities, we just want to be your servants, God. Your faithful servants in all aspects of life.

God, I just ask that you help us to keep our eyes on you. During the busiest of times, help us to remember what it’s all for. 

Instead of waiting for the perfect words and the perfect time in our schedules and the perfect plan in our heads, 

help us to realize that the middle is part of the journey towards you,

and the time to be your faithful servant.