{Be Real} Chaos

I have no idea what to write about. I have been staring at my computer for days trying desperately to get some sort of meaning out from my heart and onto this page. My head hurts, my heart aches, and I can’t seem to get enough sleep. There isn’t enough time in the day, and each moment leaves me sinking further into this feeling of utter chaos. So many thoughts and emotions are dancing around in my head, that I just want to scream sometimes. I feel like a raw nerve, exposed to the elements and praying desperately for some sort of peace. Deadlines are everywhere. They can be found in every single job, and they are placed on every single assignment. Even in the moments when I want to sit still and think about anything else, they come and find me. They are always present, and they are always fighting for my attention. I am being pulled this way and that, and I am clinging to the hope that I will not snap.

How can I hold onto sanity in this moment of insanity? How can I face this world, when it threatens to swallow me up? When did I go from standing so tall, to feeling so small? The answer is so easy, and so challenging all at once. To step outside this chaotic frenzy, to escape this crazy place, all I need to do is take one step in the direction of peace.
I need to pray for peace and for wisdom. I need to stand firm in GOD’s promises and truths and understand that He is the GOD who surrounds me, protects me, and who loves me. Each challenge I am facing may seem completely impossible with how I am feeling right now, but I need to remember that my heart and my body will betray me. I will get sick at inconvenient times, I will experience heartbreak at the most undesirable moments, I will gain new challenges as soon as I complete old ones, and I will survive.

I may feel like I am stuck in the middle of a whirlpool, but that doesn’t mean that I will drown. I do not have to let the craziness of life consume me, because what happens in life does not define me.